June - I'M FINE!
We all experience adversity. Adversity comes in many shapes and sizes, as does the pain we feel and the hard work that lies ahead. Yet, our society often promotes a toxic positivity, where difficult emotions are to be ignored or set aside in favor of a falsely cheerful facade no matter how dire or difficult our situation is.
We can be hopeful and mindful as we struggle as long as we don’t pretend all is well and deny our feelings — ours or another’s. Struggles are real, emergencies are real, suffering is real, and waiting for answers is scary.
In this conversation, think of times misfortune took a toll on your world and the suffering you experienced as a result. Reflect also on how you respond when others ask how you’re doing. Do you respond with ‘I’m fine’ even when you’re not?
When do you respond with “I’m fine” even when you’re not?
How has adversity softened you? How has it toughened you up?
How does it feel for you to sit with the suffering of others? Is your first instinct to try to make them feel better?
What does it feel like when others try to find the silver lining for your adversity?
Has anyone ever told you that your positivity was off-putting? How did that land with you? Is there a way the group can help you with this?
Do you wear a brave face when things are falling apart? Is the cheerful pretense ever harmful to you? How is it helpful?
What adversity have you shared with wForum? What responses from others felt good? What responses were less helpful for you?
What are your takeaways from this conversation?