March: Asking For What You Need
Asking for what you need has two components; the first is identifying what you need and the second is speaking up. It is a learned skill, especially if you’ve been taught to be nice or that needing things from others makes you needy, selfish, or weak.
Communicating needs is not a one-way conversation. Give and take is a part of every successful relationship; as you discuss needs, there needs to be a balance of self-sacrifice and self-advocating. Finding this balance is an on-going process.
How do you know when your needs aren’t being met? What are the signals?
What have you learned from your partner about negotiating time together and time apart?
In your family, what is the dance between self-sacrifice and taking care of your self?
How do/did you teach children to understand and verbalize their needs?
How do you know when to put your needs second to another’s needs - or not?
What Are My Needs? What Are My Partner’s Needs?
Facilitating mutual understanding through the lens of needs
Inspired by the work of Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., and Manfred Max-Neef, Ph.D. © 2005 peaceworks and Jim and Jori Manske, Trainers in Nonviolent Communication.
“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend and put your own needs first.
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